Dreams meet reality

I’ve always wanted to start a blog, yet for some reason just never got around to actually doing it. But as they all say, “everything starts with a dream”, both literally and figuratively, since my first blog post is about this dream I had 2 nights ago.

First, let me tell you something about myself. I am a hopeless romantic. But I’m one of those girls who love shutting people out and pushing people away, especially guys. I love the idea of love, but might have grown to cynical to believe that something so pure and beautiful can still happen to me. Is it necessarily a bad thing? Guess I’ll just have to find it out for myself.

Yes, my dream. Why did I wake up feeling that I have to write about it? I think this is one question I don’t want to answer. I don’t remember every specific detail of my dream, but what I do remember I promise to be as honest about it as possible, with you (and with myself).

I have a guy friend who’s name I shan’t disclose, let’s just call him G. I’ve known G since I was 12 (that’s almost 7 years of friendship). Our first meeting was a rather unconventional one, but I’ll go into it at perhaps another time. In all these years, he’s been the only close completely platonic guy friend I have. Yes, I did have quite a few ‘suitors’, if you can call them such, and passing male acquaintances, but I never really got to know them as someone more than a swimming training mate or a hi-bye church friend.

So what exactly happened in my dream that got me so wound up? Simple, I got together with G. Horrifying? Not really – that’s what’s bothering me.

I saw us on a boat at the sea during sunset, both drenched from head to toe but also inexplicably happy. I saw him tugging me by my hand while running up a flight of stone stairs. I heard myself laughing freely, and saw him watching me with one of those warm, swoon-worthy Ryan Gosling gazes that would make you tingle all over. I heard myself ask him when he started loving me and heard him reply saying since the day I started noticing boys. I saw us kissing.

Let me clarify something: I am an 18 – almost 19 – year old girl who’s never been kissed.

Another clarification: this isn’t the first dream I’ve had about us since a year or two ago. This is probably the sixth or seventh, and is the second one I’ve had in a month.

According to an article on medicalnewstoday.com, possible explanations for why we dream include:

  1. to represent unconscious desires and wishes;
  2. to interpret random signals from the brain during the day;
  3. to consolidate and process information gathered during the day; and
  4. to work as a form of psychotherapy

It also states that new researchers have speculated that dreaming is “psychoanalytic”, that “dreams are highly meaningful reflections of unconscious mental functioning.” I have to say, that does make perfect sense to me. So my conclusion is that I’m pretty screwed, if my mind is subconsciously telling me that I like G/want him to be more than a friend.

What am I going to do about it then, you may wonder?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Peace out.

-P

__________

Then the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a night vision. Then Daniel blessed the God of heaven; {Daniel 2:19}

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