Spiritual weariness

One of the words that come out of my mouth the most (at least 5-10 times a day, I’ve counted), is “I’m so tired,” often accompanied by a deep, drawn sigh. Sometimes, I’m not even aware of what I’m saying till the words were already out. I just figured that people must be tired of hearing it from me too.

I don’t think I’ve yet found out the root cause of my tiredness, but the following is what I do know:

  • I almost never sleep well at night – I’m so hyper-aware of my surroundings that the tiniest creak of the floorboards in my house or chatters of drunk young people two streets down would wake me up
  • My mind is always at work, thinking, over-thinking, analysing, and over-analysing (there are just so many things on my mind every moment of every day!)
  • And I haven’t found a way to shut it off yet (Can you even do that? How do people blank out when they daydream?)
  • I dream all the time and usually wake up remembering them vividly
  • And, I admit, I have a quite unhealthy diet (meaning unbalanced and irregular) – I’m working on it!

I’m guessing that at least some or all of the listed points contribute to my problem, but what I really want to talk about in this blog post is the importance of finding rest in the busyness of life.

Resting may seem something insignificant to you, so trivial, so pointless and such a waste of time, that you often disregard it. But resting, in fact, is the key to a refreshed, energised, and joyful soul. (Even God rested on the seventh day after creating the world! How do us, mere human beings not need rest?)

We face temptations every second of our days, making our spirit grow anxious and burdened. We try so hard to live up to our society’s, family’s, and own high expectations, making us physically drained. We encounter relationship problems with friends, family members, or partners, leaving us emotionally empty. This is when we have to remember to turn to God and draw on his strength. (There are countless of verses that tell us of his willingness to replenish our soul and give us rest, among which my favourite being the well-loved Psalm 23.)

Many of my friends know that I get some of the worst period cramps ever, forcing me to stay in bed with a warm water bottle and pills for a day. There was one time, just a few months ago, when I had my second worst set of cramps (coming up behind the first time I got my period – I had to miss school for two days) leaving me hot and cold and sweating and in terrible pain. I was crying out loud for Him to take the pain away. I kept on flipping around in bed, sitting up, curling up, lying flat, just to find a comfortable position. Then there was this amazing moment, during a break between my trying and struggling, when I heard a voice telling me to ‘be still’. I did. And almost immediately  fell asleep after that, waking up feeling much more rested and in almost no pain.

That is but a microscope of (my) life.

Oftentimes, we struggle with our burdens ourselves for so long that we forget to take breaks and to cast them onto the Lord, who wants so much for us to share our lives with Him and to carry our loads for us. So, when you feel like you’re constantly exhausted – physically or emotionally – try to re-evaluate the reason and intention behind whatever you are spending so much time on, and move your motivation back on track and point it back towards God. Be still, breathe, and just be.

I leave you with a song, a quote by an English philosopher, William Penn-

“In the rush and noise of life, as you have intervals, step home within yourselves and be still. Wait upon God, and feel His good presence; this will carry you evenly through your day’s business.”

-and the fondest of wishes and love.

-P

__________

Come to me all who are weary and heavy-laden and I will give you rest. {Matthew 11:28}

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